1. Friend, text – ‘We never see each other anymore! Can we get coffee/brunch/dinner sometime? x’
2. 10pm, at a bar/club/party:
You – ‘I’m totally wasted and having the time of my life! How amazing is this place?’
Friend, sober – ‘Um ok crazy. It’s fine. Me and [significant other] are heading home though’
3. Friend – ‘Omg then they introduced me to [insert: band/television show/book/movie you’ve been trying to convince your friend to like for years], how good are they?
4. Friend – ‘At the picnic we had…’
5. Friend, describing [significant other] – ‘We can just sit in silence for hours and it’s the most comfortable thing ever? You know?
You – *silence*
6. On Facebook:
‘Friend was tagged with [significant other] at a culturally superior experience to whatever you’re doing’
‘Friend took a photo with Instagram which will show you just how in love with [significant other] they are’
7. Friend – ‘I think I finally understand what Destiny’s Child were talking about in ‘Cater 2 U’’