- Anthony Callea pretending to still be relevant singing Christmas carols.
- Delta Goodrem unfortunately being actually still relevant singing Christmas carols.
- Karl Stefanovic hosting said Christmas carols.
- Antlers on cars.
- People complaining about antlers on cars.
- People complaining about people complaining antlers on cars (um is this Inception?).
- Suffering bricks and mortar retailers.
- Suffering through bricks and mortar retailers complaining about no one going to bricks and mortar retailers (mostly just Gerry Harvey).
- Conversations with relatives about my university degree that is still not going anywhere; or my career prospects that are also not going anywhere.
- Conversations with relatives about my lack of girlfriend (um hello).
- Actually having to have conversations.
- Having to pretend I don’t want to watch ‘Love Actually’ for the fiftieth time (actually I do).
- Having to pretend that I don’t love ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’ or any Christmas carols sung by Michael Buble (I love them both).
- Having to pretend to be happy about being single at Christmas. Again.
- Having to pretend to be happy.
- Feeling obliged to send messages to people on Christmas who I haven’t seen for years telling them I’m thinking about them (I’m not) (and I won’t actually send these messages).
- Hating Will Ferrell but still believing Elf is the greatest film ever made.